The Enlightenizer

For those of you who are not yet listening to the Hardcore Zen Podcast, here’s a taste of what you’re missing:

If you want to hear more podcasts, go to http://hardcorezen.libsyn.com/ and start listening today!

I’ve been messing around with the iMovie program on my Mac. I once had Final Cut. But the program I bought no longer works on the machine I’m using. This iMovie thing does a lot. Although there are a huge number of counter-intuitive aspects to it. And the current iMovie program is far more difficult to use than the earlier versions of iMovie.

I wrote this first as an audio commercial. My friend John Graves put it together. Steve Velerio and a special mystery actor did the voices. Today I decided to put together a very quick cartoon based on the audio. It’s kind of crappy. But it’s also kind of funny. I’ve never drawn a backhoe before today.

The commercial is a parody of Big Mind™, Sedona Method, Mind Master and all the rest of the ever growing number of Enlightenment-in-a-box things that are raking in tons of dough these days. I know I go on and on about these things. But somebody’s gotta do it. And I guess it’s gotta be me.

I will be in Los Angeles in March. If you want to come meditate and hang out with me, here’s where you can go:

March 10, 2012
10 AM until 3:30 PM
Hill Street Center
237 Hill St.
Santa Monica, CA 90405
This is Dogen Sangha LA’s monthly all-day zazen get-together. This one will be extra super special because they’ll be filming part of the documentary movie they’re making about li’l ol’ me. Come and be a STAR!!

If you can’t do the whole day come just for the morning or show up at around 12:30 and do just the afternoon. The filming will be in the afternoon.

March 15, 2012
7:30 PM – 9:00 PM
Against the Stream
4300 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90029
This is the regular Thursday night Against The Stream meeting. I’ll lead it zazen-style rather than doing the usual guided meditation.

Here are a few other iMovie experiments I’ve made lately.


This is the latest commercial for Dave Materna’s presidential bid.


This is a cover of the Sex Pistols “Pretty Vacant” done up psychedelic style. I once had the idea to do a whole album’s worth of psychedelic covers of punk rock classics. But I only got as far as this one. That’s not me singing. But I wrote the arrangement and played the guitars, bass and mellotron.


This one’s a video for the first song on the first Dimentia 13 record. That’s me playing and singing everything. I was 21 years old. This is about what I imagined Satori would be.


This was a song I contributed to a flexidisc given away with a British neo-psychedelic magazine called Freak Beat.


And this is a song of mine from probably the late eighties that I found while trolling through things I hadn’t listened to in a long time.

101 Responses

Page 1 of 3
  1. Seagal Rinpoche
    Seagal Rinpoche February 22, 2012 at 6:18 pm |

    A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 22, 2012 at 6:31 pm |

    Save Buddha from a Mad monkey.

    http://www.alysion.org/hangsave/savebuddha.html

  3. Sea Gull the chicken screwer
    Sea Gull the chicken screwer February 22, 2012 at 6:54 pm |

    Sea Gull Rim Shotie is now Buddha

    A dog is not a good dog because he is a good barker.

    A man is not a good man because he is a good talker.

    A hen is hot a good hen because she is a good lay.

  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 22, 2012 at 7:02 pm |

    "A man is not a good man because he is a good talker."

    I deem you a good dog.

  5. Mysterion
    Mysterion February 22, 2012 at 8:05 pm |

    A dog is a dog because a dog is a dog. A dog, by any color, can not be a cat.

    A monk heard many great and fascinating stories about an old wise man living in high the Himalayas. So the monk arose early one morning and announced to the head abbot that he would climb the great mountain and ask the old wise man the meaning of life. The abbot reluctantly agreed to let the monk pursue his journey.

    So the monk climbed all morning. And, at noon, he stopped to rest from his exhaustion. And he climbed all afternoon. And he stopped in the evening to rest again. And he climbed late into the evening whereupon he came to a small humble shelter near the top of the great mountain with the light of a single candle flickering inside the tattered curtains.

    Respectfully entering the shelter, the monk bowed to the old wise man and sat down to rest. After resting for an hour, the monk asked the old wise man: What is the meaning of life?"

    The old wise man moved around a bit, adjusting the ancient tattered cushion beneath him.

    "Life," the old wise man said, "is a bean."

    It is?" asked the monk abruptly.

    "You mean it isn't?" ask the old wise man.

  6. Khru
    Khru February 22, 2012 at 9:19 pm |

    Let's keep this crapalicious thread going. Who's next?

  7. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 22, 2012 at 9:44 pm |

    Fun stuff, Mr. Warner. Like many good wines, a cross of a number of varietals, and very heady.

    My girl's Sufi tribe stems from some people who thought just playing music would be sufficient to pass the message of the sacred reality on, though it didn't turn out to be that way.

    Bill Graham of course was a revolutionary, for helping white people discover they had hips. Nowadays freaking is all the rage, and I hope I will get out this week and meet with friends who lean toward the fashion like the crazy love addicts they are. I am aiding and abetting their crimes against numbness, whenever possible.

    I am thinking about teaching myself posture through dermatones. In particular, feeling in the areas associated with the 4th and 5th lumbar vertebraes comes to me as I look to experience the ilio-lumbar ligaments in inhalation and exhalation, and feeling in the areas associated with c5-c7 and c2-c3 as the I experience opposite turning at the sacrum and pelvis.

    Good thing I can sleep through this kind of thing, it's my only hope for really waking up…

  8. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 22, 2012 at 9:47 pm |

    sorry, Khru, you may now require metamucil!

  9. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 22, 2012 at 10:47 pm |

    By the way, I thought the cartoon was fabulous, Mr. W.- you have a bright future in this!

  10. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 2:17 am |

    Brad post some new poscasts, last one if from november!

  11. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 3:17 am |

    http://qigongenergyhealing.blogspot.com/

    Michael Mohoric is his free monthly healing this Sunday. The energy flows to you once you accept the energy.

  12. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 3:54 am |

    You can learn the Sedona Method from a book. How dare people have to spend money on a book.

  13. Mysterion
    Mysterion February 23, 2012 at 7:47 am |

    I'm all for the Qi gong

    Does it Hertz?

    I attended the Cosmic Convergence at Harbin and converged with a real Earth Mother!

  14. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 23, 2012 at 8:02 am |

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 23, 2012 at 8:04 am |

    speaking of Hertz- watched a video this morning of a friend sitting in front of an old PC with a funny headband on his forehead, generating 3.5hz and 40hz frequency brainwaves, alternately. Pretty good, for someone who wasn't raised in Tibet.

    Shades of the enlightenizer.

  16. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 8:27 am |

    Synthetic meat is now being perfected in the Laboratory. While it might not be your cup of tea, The eating of it will reduce the suffering of millions of live animals. "People who are vegetarian for moral reasons – the environment, the treatment of animals have a moral obligation to eat Synthetic meat. They need to do this because it will contribute to an ethical alternative to conventional meat.” – Prof Julian Savulescu Director of the Oxford Uehiro Centre for Ethics

  17. Uncle Willie
    Uncle Willie February 23, 2012 at 9:34 am |

    Michael Mohoric's Qigong Energy Healing may be free, but how much does he charge for shipping and handling? Always read the fine print.
    My favorite part of Mr. Mohoric's "very" believable website:
    http://www.qigongenergyhealing.com/animal-healing.htm

  18. john e mumbles
    john e mumbles February 23, 2012 at 10:59 am |

    Hey Brad, brilliant weaving of Pretty Vacant and 10,000 Light Years From Home! I picked up on it at first, thought it was just the mellotron, but when the chorus kicked in I was sure of it. V. cool.

  19. john e mumbles
    john e mumbles February 23, 2012 at 11:04 am |

    …and Unbend The Trees is a nice revision of All Along The Watchtower…

  20. bipartisan
    bipartisan February 23, 2012 at 11:10 am |

    Willie:

    Yeah, but can he heal Wiley's chicken pot pie?

    ***************
    BREATHARIANISM

    No one would dispute that eating and breathing are essential to stay alive – stop eating and breathing and you stop living.

    Is it possible with training to live on air alone? One who teaches that we can, is Wiley Brooks.

    Mr Brook's premise is that since everybody who eats dies, food must be bad for you, and the only way to cheat death is to stop eating. In support of this premise Mr Brooks claims not to have eaten anything in 18 years.

    Mr Brook's claim to authority is the yogic tradition that some persons, on their ascent to holiness, have gone without sustenance for months or years.

    He conducts seminars and charges as much of $500 a day to work with advanced clients using his transitional diet that helps cut back on and finally break the eating habit.

    Wiley Brook's conclusion is a logical fallacy based on two unrelated premises – that everybody dies and that everybody eats.

    Does Mr Brooks really practise what he preaches? He was once spotted coming out of a Seven-Eleven food store with groceries, including a chicken pot pie, donuts and hamburgers. When taxed, he responded that junk food is "not food" because food is nourishment. Since fast food burgers are not nourishment anybody eating fast food is, by definition, not eating food!

  21. john e mumbles
    john e mumbles February 23, 2012 at 11:17 am |

    "Good artists borrow, great artists steal." -Pablo Picasso

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc2iLAubras

  22. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 1:29 pm |

    John said, "Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

    I agree with Artists stealing ideas then maybe making someting in the same vein but Brad seemed to take a part of one song and just combine it with another to make something else. Is that art? He credited the Pistols but ignored the Stones part which he
    he seemingly lifted whole. So why no Stones credit Brad?

  23. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm |

    Brad – I've been invited to a Mondo Zen retreat (can't make it) but the flyer was talking about special language use and emotional koans and rapid enlightenment…that's in the same pot with Big Mind, isn't it? Don't know anything else about it, but they are advertising it in ways my local "regular old Zen" sangha does not. Poo.

  24. Mysterion
    Mysterion February 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm |

    Well… Ken Wilber

    Sorry, but this was a piss-poor sounding of the bell. Dissonance par excellence!

    However, the folks who subjected themselves to this bell beating are paying karma and will leave somewhat closer to balance. They will no longer stagger under the heavy burden of carrying all that cash.

    That 'chime' was no more than an assault upon the poor bell ("bon'ongu").

    I don't know much. But I know how to harmoniously sound a bell.

    cheers,
    chas

    see also, THIS

    This chime is better.

    I need to record one track for each of the small "A" or "C" chime and larger "G" chime.

    Then, there is also the wood block – Mokugyo – and the "crow." Each are sounded for different mind effects. None are assaulted or "struck."

  25. Fred
    Fred February 23, 2012 at 6:10 pm |

    Selling water by the river.

  26. Seagal Rinpoche
    Seagal Rinpoche February 23, 2012 at 6:22 pm |

    Things derive their being and nature by mutual dependence and are nothing in themselves.

  27. gucci outlet
    gucci outlet February 23, 2012 at 9:53 pm |

    Cheap gucci outlet is sold at 70% off now, gucci sunglasses are very popular, especially gucci bags.

  28. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote February 23, 2012 at 10:08 pm |

    I met Jun Po Kelly Roshi at Sonoma Mountain, just in passing. I think the Mondo Zen folks hold their retreats there. I'm happy to know his background; I wondered what the difference was between what he was offering and what Sonoma Mountain was offering. Quite a difference, Soto vs. Rinzai extract from a guy who's seen a lot, from the sound of it.

    Thanks for that great Modern Lovers song, john e., I'm stuck on it now…

  29. Khru
    Khru February 24, 2012 at 12:02 am |

    Thanks for the important info, Gucci Outlet…now please go and fornicate with yourself.

  30. john e mumbles
    john e mumbles February 24, 2012 at 4:29 am |

    Hey bipartisan, I was a "breathairian" back in the early 1980's, but not via Wiley Brooks, it was my own thing, more akin to "straight edge." I also have experimented off and on for many years with fasting.

    Harper's magazine, March, 2012 contains the excellent article,

    "Starving your way to vigor:
    The benefits of an empty stomach"
    By Steve Hendricks

    SEE ALSO: Macfadden, Bernarr; Biography; Cancer; Career in cancer research; Diabetes; Epilepsy; Fasting; Health aspects; Tanner, Henry S. (Henry Samuel); Longevity; Nutritional aspects; Overweight men; Physiological aspects; Pictorial works; Reducing diets; Starvation; Hendricks, Steve; Longo, Valter; Views on fasting; Weight loss

  31. Hugo
    Hugo February 24, 2012 at 6:32 am |

    I too am a practicing breathairian. I started experimenting many years ago and have successfully maintained the practice on and off for over thirty years. I can go nine to twelve hours sustained solely by prana before breakfast. Just make sure to come from a place of integrity and have the right motivation before you attempt this.

  32. Anna Rexia
    Anna Rexia February 24, 2012 at 7:21 am |

    Fast slowly.
    Slow quickly.
    Slowly, slowly, catchee monkey.

  33. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 7:33 am |

    Impermanence
    Suffering
    No-Self

    really?

  34. Isley's Brother
    Isley's Brother February 24, 2012 at 8:35 am |

    No impermanence.
    No suffering.
    No no-self.
    No no-no-self.

    No no no no no no no no no no nobody.

  35. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 9:06 am |

    no Isley's Brother?

    no Anonymous!

  36. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 9:18 am |

    I have been a liberal pass-airian ever since I turned 90.

    Come by when you are fasting and I will fart in your general direction.

    All the nourishment you will need for the day will be wafting in the vapors of my flatulence.

    Call me in advance and I will consume your favorite Dunkin' Donut or a chicken pot pie.

    respectfylly,

    Yoga Guru-Swami-Master

  37. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 10:29 am |

    I have this idea for a song..
    I'm pretty excited about it.
    It's going to sound something, well a lot like this cover of Patti's Smith's version of the Beatles "Within you, without you."
    except the lyrics will be the Misfits "Fiend Without A Face."
    Dig it.

  38. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 10:57 am |

    is that Gniz? great idea whoever you are

  39. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 11:21 am |

    Your momma's gniz.

  40. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 11:25 am |

    to the liberal 90-year-old pass-airian:

    confuscious say, man who fart in general direction of church must sit in own pew.

  41. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm |

    You're an asshole, Seagal. All you do is copy the words of others and try to pass them off as your own teachings.

    Fat ass.

  42. Cidercat
    Cidercat February 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm |

    Breatharianism does sound enticing to me. I'd save a fortune on bananas. Haven't got the balls to give it a go though.

    A cat is considered a good cat because he comports himself with a graceful and humorous demeanour.

    Captcha: dursib mproda. I'm sure there is some great wisdom here.

  43. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm |
  44. Mysterion
    Mysterion February 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm |

    I have been out all day sounding two local temple bells in Alameda County. Dave and I took an audio spectrum analyzer, a frequency counter, and three industrial panels of acoustical isolation (film term GoBo) to get fairly good recordings. We'll record more next week. It takes a crew of 7 or 8 just to set up the recording environment so we only made two locations.

    We took a variety of microphones buy will settle on the Shure SM57.

    Fortunately a friend-of-a-friend had a field truck we could borrow without paying a fee (not these guys – who are very good). We have about 425 GB of data at 96 KHz sampling and 24 bit delta-sigma quantizing. We will process it down to consumer level in the next month or two (e.g. 44.056 KHz sampling and 20 bit quantizing – using dynamic rounding) and then compress it using AAC. Sorry, but most pros know MP3 compression sucks when it comes to compressing serious audio (e.g. theatrical film dialogue and effects tracks).

    What a pain.

    P.S. We have a CT AAC encoder.

    Am I glad I retired! This simple little audio project would kill me if it was for hire!

  45. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 25, 2012 at 4:53 am |

    Thanks for updating us on your daily activities. You should get on Twitter.

  46. Heike Monogatari
    Heike Monogatari February 25, 2012 at 8:19 am |

    "The sound of the Gion Sh?ja bells echoes the impermanence of all things; the color of the s?la flowers reveals the truth that the prosperous must decline. The proud do not endure, they are like a dream on a spring night; the mighty fall at last, they are as dust before the wind."
    The Tale of the Heike

  47. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 25, 2012 at 8:31 am |

    McCullough, Helen Craig, trans. The Tale of the Heike. Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1988

  48. Anonymous
    Anonymous February 25, 2012 at 10:34 am |
  49. Steven
    Steven February 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm |

    I'm glad to see that you'll be back in L.A. for awhile. I think I can make it out to both gigs.

  50. Uncle Mitt
    Uncle Mitt February 25, 2012 at 6:39 pm |

    Are you other Mormons going?

    I'll be there.

Comments are closed.