First off, we will be holding our Grope Free Zen Retreatâ„¢ at Mount Baldy Zen Center this weekend from Friday through Sunday. There is still space available so sign up now! All the info you need is on this webpage. Do it! You know you want to!

Also I’ve got a new article up on the Suicide Girls Safe For Work Blog. It’s called Buddhists Can Be Assholes Too.

Next up, after much delay, my novel Gill Women of the Prehistoric Planet is now available for sale in both print and ebook formats. Here is the description:


Joe Nofziger knows the horrifying truth. Aliens from Planet X in the Zeta Reticuli System have taken over Johnny Teagle’s HyperMart in Akron, Ohio and are using the prizes in specially marked boxes of Goofy Feet cereal to control the minds of the unknowing populace. The only thing that stands in the way of their total domination of the planet Earth is Ben I. Goldman’s “lost” trash science fiction masterpiece Gill Women of the Prehistoric Planet, the last remaining copy of which is stashed in Joe’s basement. More MADNESS than than a Three Stooges bake sale! More PANIC than a Philip K. Dick nightmare! More CHEEZINESS than an Edward D. Wood motion picture!  More TRUTH than the Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra! Unstoppable, unbeatable, unquenchably unquenchable! GILL WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET!

The book also features punk rock, paranoia, lesbianism, religious fanaticism and exploding dirigibles. What more could anyone possibly want in a book?

This is NOT my next Zen book, by the way. My next Zen book is called There Is No God And He Is Always With You. That will be released by New World Library in June.

Gill Women of the Prehistoric Planet is a novel I originally wrote way back in 1998 when I was living in Japan and working for Tsuburaya productions. It was one of three novels I completed before I wrote Hardcore Zen. It is far and away the best of those. I still like it a whole lot. It’s kind of like Alex Cox’s Repo Man in that it’s a weird black comedy with a point to it. It’s a really fun book with a lot of Zen in it.

At the time I thought it was not really my calling to write straight ahead Zen books. If you saw the books that filled the Eastern Spirituality shelves in bookstores before Hardcore Zen came out and spawned a hundred and fifty wanna-be imitations, you’d know what I mean. Zen books were dry and scholarly or deep and serious. Some were good. Some were awful. But none of them had anything to do with punk rock or pop culture in general. So I figured I’d disguise my Zen book as a science fiction novel in the style of Philip K Dick or Kurt Vonnegut. That is to say, not really sci-fi in the sense of rocket ships and tentacled monstrosities from Venus, but science fiction-y enough to get it accepted into that genre.

The book is also about life in Akron, Ohio during those years after punk rock came and went. It’s about my friends who shared the many run-down houses I lived in during those days. It’s about the scene we tried to build against tremendous opposition from everybody, including ourselves.

It’s also a book about trash science fiction movies and the geeks that adore them. Ben I. Goldman, one of the book’s central characters, is based on Bert I. Gordon, Roger Corman, William Castle, Ed Wood and all those other outrageous characters that made those mad movies.

Just read it! OK?

*   *   *

I won’t make much on a book like this, so your donations hep. Thanks!

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49 Responses

Page 1 of 1
  1. Terrytrueman
    Terrytrueman April 23, 2013 at 2:24 pm |

    Brad, Brad Brad . . . LOL First you wanna shred the bad guy terrorist and now you want us to buy GILL WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, which btw I just downlaoaded a sample of onto my kindle and read the first chapterish. I tell you little brother, if you didn’t write like a fucking angel, there’d be a bounty on you! And oh, yes, everyone, Brad assures us he won’t make very much $$ of GWof the PP, so it’s okay if we donate some $ to hep him. LOL WTF am I doing here?

  2. boubi
    boubi April 23, 2013 at 2:36 pm |

    “using the prizes in specially marked boxes of Goofy Feet cereal to control the minds of the unknowing populace. ”


    Finally some serious shit YAHOOOOOO !!!

    Brad, get feed back from readers, i think out there, there is a good lectorate just waiting for something like this.

    Are there also aluminium fold head cones?

    Ship one for free and i’ll tell you what i think of it 🙂

    1. boubi
      boubi April 23, 2013 at 2:39 pm |

      Sorry i meant “Tin foil hat” instead of ” aluminium fold head cones”

      It’s a must have in this kind of litterature !

      1. boubi
        boubi April 23, 2013 at 3:00 pm |

        Make sequels, trash, outrageously outrageous, heavily cross reference on whatever (copyright allowing) from Howard the Duck to zombies from outer space, techno punk, Max Headroom, Mad Max, apocalytic bullshit and more aliens.

        The truth is out there, a whole generation grew up on this @&¨#87 whatever.

        I don’t know of you are a sci-fi fan, there are treasures to be digged …

        Don’t forget the tin foil hat, you never know.

        Yeah don’t forget boobs !

  3. Terrytrueman
    Terrytrueman April 23, 2013 at 2:39 pm |

    ps Brad, I’ll be dying to see/hear how you do with this offering of a novel you wrote back in 1998 and published on the Amazon createspace format etc and have the balls to ask for $9.99 in an ebook? Have I got that right? I’m launching some stuff of my own too, things that HarperCollins wouldn’t/couldn’t (whatever) publish, but I’m trying to sort of tiptoe/feather my way along–first title free, next title almost free for awhile and then a little less free, but NOT 10 bucks. Anyway, I’ll likely buy this ridiculous book because, as I said above, you do write marvelously. I’ll be keeping my eye on you, however, young man! and btw, when you have yer next, “It’s-okay-to-grope” retreat, send me a flier. 🙂

  4. Terrytrueman
    Terrytrueman April 23, 2013 at 2:41 pm |

    Hey boubi, I think we’re totally on the same page over this one. LOL

  5. boubi
    boubi April 23, 2013 at 3:03 pm |

    Push heavily on the “Zen Master/Punk Rock”

    1. boubi
      boubi April 23, 2013 at 3:06 pm |

      Seriously you could identify your audience and then target it with what they crave for … more boobs 😉


      1. boubi
        boubi April 23, 2013 at 3:13 pm |

        Do you remember from M.I.B 2 movie the video rental guy with his girl friend? The morgue attendant in M.I.B 1?

        Can you go to some scifi convention. Get a stand with a scantily clad S.G posing as one of the cover girl of the book …

  6. Mumbles
    Mumbles April 23, 2013 at 4:48 pm |

    “Gill Women of the Prehistoric Planet,” “There Is No God And He Is Always With You”…You should’ve combined them as “There Is No God And He Is Always With The Gill Women of the Prehistoric Planet.” Substitute “Inside” instead of “With” and Presto! Instant PorNo!!

  7. drocloc
    drocloc April 23, 2013 at 6:50 pm |

    Philip K. Dick on reality—

    “Reality is that, which, after you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

    Mmmmm good.^^

    1. minkfoot
      minkfoot April 23, 2013 at 8:08 pm |

      Sounds good, but how do you prove it’s true?

      1. drocloc
        drocloc April 24, 2013 at 3:41 am |

        Stop believing in it.

  8. mtto
    mtto April 24, 2013 at 12:46 am |


    If you want be rich beyond your wildest dreams, just charge for commenting on this blog. Maybe 3 cents for the first 250 characters, 2 cents for each additional 100 characters.

    I’m kidding. But not really.

  9. ZenFreeZone
    ZenFreeZone April 24, 2013 at 9:48 am |

    Yep, but how do I get it in the UK?

  10. Proulx Michel
    Proulx Michel April 24, 2013 at 12:29 pm |

  11. The Grand Canyon
    The Grand Canyon April 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm |

    From Amazon’s book description of “There Is No God And He Is Always With You”: “Warner travels around the world looking for insight and what he finds, in chapters like ‘Sam Harris Believes in God,’ ‘God Doesn’t Have to Be Real to Exist,’ and ‘What God Wants,’ and through visits to places including Israel, Mexico, and Northern Ireland, is the belief that Buddhism ‘is a way to approach and understand God without dealing with religion.'”

    Thanks for the warning, Amazon. You just saved me $8.91.

    Anyone who says that “God Doesn’t Have to Be Real to Exist” is misunderstanding or misusing at least one of those words.

  12. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 24, 2013 at 2:47 pm |

    I will start looking for “Karma…”, by Brad Warner; I have a gift certificate for the local bookshop, maybe I’ll do that, ’cause I too like Mr. Warner’s prose but I’m not much on fiction.

    Good luck up on Mt. Baldy to Brad and each of the other sitters at the “No Grapo!” sesshin. wait…

    I’d like to offer a better invitation to folks to read my most recent attempt to teach myself the unteachable, it’s online and absolutely free; I emailed my mailing list, this way:

    “I have finished at least a rough draft of Letting Go in Action: the Practice of Zazen. The draft never does explain why letting go in action should be considered the practice of zazen but does perhaps offer an explanation of what Gautama’s four trance states have to do with mindfulness of the body. I would welcome any comments.

    Here is an excerpt:

    “In a poem from the fifth century C.E., the Buddhist monk Fuxi elaborated on how relaxed extension stretches the ligaments between the sacrum and the pelvis, and how gravity generates activity in the legs and in the pelvis that frees the experience of location and turns off volitive activity in the movement of breath:

    The empty hand grasps the hoe-handle
    Walking along I ride the ox
    The ox crosses the wooden bridge
    The bridge is flowing, the water is still

    (‘Zen’s Chinese Heritage’, Andy Ferguson, pg 2)

    ‘The ox crosses the wooden bridge’ describes an effect of the rhythm of stretch and activity as the weight of the entire body rests in the ligaments that connect the sacrum and pelvis: each step of an ox on a wooden bridge reverberates to the headtop and throughout the body of any rider, from the spine to the surface of the skin, and the same is true for the individual whose weight rests in three directions between the sacrum and pelvis.

    The phrase ‘the bridge is flowing’ could be said to describe a moment before sleep when the location of awareness seems to shift in place in the body, while ‘the water is still’ could describe the cessation of volitive activity in the body at that same moment. For most people, the loss of volitive control in the activity of the body is associated with falling, and as a consequence many people experience a ‘hypnic jerk’ or sudden muscular contraction as they begin to fall asleep. Fuxi suggests that an awareness that shifts location freely in the body can come about as a matter of course, as the ability to feel informs the sense of location and the weight of the relaxed body generates stretch and activity in the movement of breath. He depicts a process of gradual stages whereby a muscular contraction is avoided, at the moment when a shift in the location of awareness with a cessation of volitive activity registers in the sub-consciousness.

    Although Fuxi outlines the stages of a process, and the process may be said to be gradual, the transition from a waking state to a state between waking and sleeping must be said to be sudden, marked by a sense of location that can shift and a cessation of any voluntary activity in the body.”

    Thanks, all!

  13. Fred
    Fred April 24, 2013 at 4:17 pm |

    “The empty hand grasps the hoe-handle”
    No self enters the Absolute even though it was already there.

    “Walking along I ride the ox”
    Riding the ox is the journey to enlightenment. Riding the ox backwards there is
    goaless practice with no purpose or destination.

    “The ox crosses the wooden bridge”
    Entering emptiness there is no one home.

    “The bridge is flowing, the water is still’
    Without form or concept the myriad things enlighten themselves.

  14. Fred
    Fred April 24, 2013 at 4:33 pm |

    “We began our practice by seeking the ox. We discovered the ox (catching sight of the ox), took hold of the ox (seizing the ox), brought the ox under control (taming the ox), and have been training the ox to do, to a certain degree, what it is told (riding the ox home). In this process you have handled many koans, knowing the joy of passing them as well as the pain and anxiety of not getting through them.

    When you seek in such a thorough fashion the true self (the ox), that self which is doing the seeking disappears, and only the true self remains. More exactly, you enter the world in which the true self also does not come into consciousness. This is truly that world in which you have forgotten the self completely, a world of complete emptiness, “without even a wisp of cloud to obstruct your vision” [manako ni sayuru kumonohamo nashi]. “

  15. boubi
    boubi April 24, 2013 at 6:38 pm |

    When do we get to have a good steak of this ox?

    Megatraum is a Martian, feeding off weed and cash
    I dash from my ship in the Roswell Crash
    You smash when you dash with the clashing ox
    Saw you in half without a fucking magical box

    Wet pussy always seems to splash my cock
    I’m dead, they just didn’t leave the casket locked
    Pass my block I let shots drill in your spleen
    We’re ill marines with hand held killing machines

    Steal dreams with the armored steel guard your grill
    Nigga, I was brought up by the Kents in Smallville
    Following Allah’s will, horror in the skill
    Caught up in the real, don’t give me cause to kill

    Nocturnal, I stroll where the darkness goes
    If I had to follow the moon across the globe
    With the staff and white robe, I still hold metal
    Disciples who walk on glass and rose petals

    Yo, last rites, we fast to blast twice
    Jedi Mind 252, we mad nice
    We smash mics and blast too precise
    Fast 40 days and pray for 40 nights

    1. boubi
      boubi April 24, 2013 at 6:40 pm |

      Yo, last rites, we fast to blast twice
      Jedi Mind 252 we mad nice
      We smash mics and blast too precise
      Fast 40 days and pray for 40 nights

      I hit the turnpike on dirt bikes with 2 heaters
      On my way to Philly to fight for Mumia
      Only thug guerrillas will react to this
      The laws try to destroy black activist

      Half of y’all is performers and actresses
      I keep at least a 100 grand in the mattresses
      Shit so hot, soon as I write it I get indicted
      I dare one y’all scared niggas to bite it

      I stood in hood lobbies getting my rocks off
      With long johns and 3 pairs of socks on
      Ducking from the pigs so I don’t get knocked off
      Or popped off and y’all thugs are soft

      It’s like you’re skirt get pulled up, clothes come off
      Red Dragons, can’t even fuck with my brain patterns
      I’m all live, Pentium Plus and Benz wagons
      Mahdi, believe me it do ring bells

      If you saw me do dirt you won’t live to tell
      I’ve done lived in a cell, did bids in hell
      Held niggas at gunpoint for ransom and bail

      Yo, last rites, we fast to blast twice
      Jedi Mind 252 we mad nice
      We smash mics and blast too precise
      Fast 40 days and pray for 40 nights

  16. Khru
    Khru April 24, 2013 at 7:22 pm |

    Ah yes. The sex-y sex talk is finally back!

  17. King Kong
    King Kong April 24, 2013 at 7:28 pm |

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAA !! !! ::pp

    1. boubi
      boubi April 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm |

      Hi Kong

      Having a good time?


  18. boubi
    boubi April 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm |

    ““without even a wisp of cloud to obstruct your vision” [manako ni sayuru kumonohamo nashi]. “”

    Vision of what exactly?

  19. Fred
    Fred April 25, 2013 at 4:53 am |

    Emptiness looking at itself

  20. anon 108
    anon 108 April 25, 2013 at 5:23 am |

    Hi Mark,

    It’s taken me a long time (how long have you been posting on Brad’s blog?) to get a handle on your Zen Mudra perspective, but pennies are starting to drop – at least about waking/falling asleep/sense of location/volitive activity. So thanks for persisting.

    About the anatomical stuff I’m still none the wiser. Not that I’ve felt inclined to do much homework – maybe because, as you say, you never do “explain why letting go in action should be considered the practice of zazen.”

    Even if you don’t know or don’t want to tell us why we should try to understand what you’re saying, couldn’t you help out a bit with what you’re saying? Because whenever I read your Zen Mudra postings I can’t help thinking ‘There’s got to be a clearer way to explain this.’

    ~ Sympathetic and curious, London.

    1. anon 108
      anon 108 April 25, 2013 at 5:42 am |

      …It’s stuff like “the rhythm of stretch in the ligaments that control yaw in spinal extension, relative to the rhythm of stretch of the ligaments that control pitch and roll” that leaves me non-plussed.

      As that stuff seems integral to what you’re saying – and as I don’t understand it, you don’t explain it, and you don’t say how it might help me if I were to research it – I’ve resigned myself to not ever appreciating what it is you’re wanting me to appreciate.

      1. anon 108
        anon 108 April 25, 2013 at 7:13 am |

        Other, perhaps better examples of the kind of thing I have difficulty with are (from the opening sentences of your piece):

        “…realize activity out of the necessity of breath.”

        What does “realize” mean in this context? And “realize activity ‘out of…’“?

        “…part of the necessity of breath in the posture, and informs the place of occurrence of consciousness and the ability to feel.”

        What does “necessity of breath in the posture” mean?

        And “informs the place…and the ability” – what do you mean by “informs” in this context?

        What/where is “the place of occurrence of consciousness” (I recall movies of hats moving around the body, but they didn’t help me)?

        I don’t mean to give you a hard time. I think your site looks lovely, you write beautifully, and I admire the effort you put into it – I just don’t understand most of it – and I get the impression you want to be understood.

  21. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 25, 2013 at 7:28 am |

    this, is a test; testing Brad’s blog, 1, 2, 3!

  22. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 25, 2013 at 7:31 am |

    Thanks to Fred and anon 108, and the voracious steak-eater too; a little cabernet with that steak, please!

    I’m going to try posting this comment in sections, as I’m getting a 404 with the whole thing:

    “The Gateless Gate
    Case 38, A Cow Passes Through a Window

    The Case

    Wuzu Fayan said, “For example, it’s just like a great cow passing through a latticed window. Her head, horns, and four legs have passed through. Why is it that her tail can’t pass through?”

    Wumen’s Commentary

    If in regard to this you are able to turn yourself upside down, attain one single eye, and utter a turning word, you will be able to repay the four obligations above and help the living beings of the three realms below. If you are still unable to do this, reflect again on the tail; then you will be able to grasp it for the first time.

    The Verse

    If it passes through, it will fall into a ditch;

    If it turns back, it will be destroyed.

    This tiny little tail —

    What a strange and marvelous thing it is!”

    And then there’s Foyan describing the two illnesses at his monastery, looking for an ox while riding an ox, and riding an ox unable to dismount. Better never to get on the ox, says Foyan.

  23. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 25, 2013 at 7:38 am |

    part 2:

    (Had a nice picture of the Egyptian god Hapi here to illustrate his feet on the sacrum, but that may be the cause of the 404.)

    The empty-hand of Fuxi’s poem I describe as action generated through the stretch of ligaments. There are three sets of ligaments, roughly, that connect the sacrum to the pelvis; you can find that online, looks like links may be breaking the site today so I’ll leave it off. These three sets of ligaments support motion in the sacrum that rocks, rolls, and twists, roughly, and generate activity in the muscles of the pelvis and in the legs.

    The hand is the weight of the relaxed body in the movement of breath that stretches the ligaments at the sacrum and generates activity; the activity generated is actually in support of the alignment of the lower spine in the movement of inhalation and exhalation, and the ability to feel along the legs informs the alignment.

    Why all the anatomy; doesn’t that drop away at some point? Well, the rest of the ox passes through, but the tail does not. The first four trance states, at least, belong to mindfulness of the body, and the relinquishment of volition in action that constitutes riding the ox depends on the reverberation of pitch, yaw, and roll throughout the body from under the hooves of the ox. So to speak. You know all this intuitively, as a rock musician; the part you quoted is just my description of the source of shake, rattle and roll in a dance like that of the Bushmen, it’s stretch at the sacrum with a rhythm in three directions.

    If you need to see what’s happening on the cushion to try to find feeling in your legs, as I do, then my descriptions of the relationship of dermatones and the stretch and activity that aligns the spine may be useful to you, as it is useful to me. Nothing happens without everything happening, in my experience, and so I outline the entirety of the first four meditative states; the freedom of mind and movement in the location of consciousness like falling asleep is the real beginning to me. That’s a thing that can be hard to realize when your legs are twisted up in the knot handed down from India, at least for me, so I write to remind myself.

    You might not need any reminder, but thanks for reading and commenting. & thanks Fred, for bringing it home.

    1. boubi
      boubi April 25, 2013 at 8:01 am |

      All this related to Trul-khor?

    2. anon 108
      anon 108 April 25, 2013 at 9:26 am |

      I do believe I understood some of that. Thanks.

      1. Terrytrueman
        Terrytrueman April 25, 2013 at 9:35 am |

        LOL This is kind of what I was questioning in my initial outburst about charging $10 for the GILL ebook, but Mark explained that his publisher, a Polish grp had set the price. This is a terrrifc example of what’s happening to readers and authors as we all sit, rather unconsciously on the cusp of this massive change in publishing/writing etc. My first novel (STUCK IN NEUTRAL) was published in June 2000 and has sold, worldwide, more than a quarter of a million copies (close to a third of a million) and is still selling reasonably well–but the path forward for my work/career as an author/writer has never been less clear than it is right now. Probably a big part of my attraction to zen/buddhism/hardcore Mark/this blog etc, is an effort to gan a handle on my anxiety about this and to prep myself for embracing these changes rather than being frightened by them. Not sure how I’m doing with all of that LOL

  24. boubi
    boubi April 25, 2013 at 7:59 am |

    “Fred April 25, 2013 at 4:53 am

    Emptiness looking at itself”

    Nice 🙂

    Can you tell more of it?

    How did you get yourself to experiment it ?

  25. A-Bob
    A-Bob April 25, 2013 at 9:21 am |

    The 218 page Gill-women e-book is $10 with no paper, labor or shipping costs.. while the 360 page No-God paperback will be priced at $8.91? HELLO?

  26. anon 108
    anon 108 April 25, 2013 at 9:32 am |

    @ the moaning minnies – (inconsistent pricing aside) Compared to book prices in the U of K, these prices are DIRT CHEAP, I’ll have you know.

    1. A-Bob
      A-Bob April 26, 2013 at 10:19 am |

      Hi 108, What I was questioning was why should an e-book cost more than an even larger sized paper book. They often do and I don’t get it..
      Once an e-book is completed, the production costs are gone.. it’s all profit after that. It’s undoubtedly a conspiracy..

      Yours truly, MM

      1. anon 108
        anon 108 April 26, 2013 at 12:03 pm |

        Hi MM (Me too! How curious),

        Yes, I got that. But I thought other(s) had complained about the pricing of the book. I just checked and it looks like I imagined it. Please delete me.

        1. A-Bob
          A-Bob April 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm |

          Hi Mal, Not so curious.. My MM sign-off was self recognition. MM, Moaning Minnie innit? I’m cheap and financially challenged, what can I say? Cheers Buddy.

  27. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 25, 2013 at 3:43 pm |

    Terrytrueman, relax- calm down- it’s Brad’s world, I just live here.

  28. Mumbles
    Mumbles April 25, 2013 at 4:38 pm |

    I liked the use of the Ko-an, Mark. And the explanation here might be added (w/Mal’s questions perhaps) as addendum to your blog post. You are getting closer and closer to really explaining yourself clearly. Not an easy thing. Many thanks for the effort(s) all around, good work.

  29. Fred
    Fred April 25, 2013 at 5:41 pm |

    “And then there’s Foyan describing the two illnesses at his monastery, looking for an ox while riding an ox, and riding an ox unable to dismount. Better never to get on the ox, says Foyan.”

    One is stuck on seeking; the other is stuck on enlightenment.

    “. The first four trance states, at least, belong to mindfulness of the body, and the relinquishment of volition in action that constitutes riding the ox depends on the reverberation of pitch, yaw, and roll throughout the body from under the hooves of the ox”

    “The relinquishment of volition in action that constitutes riding the ox” is seeing/
    being the true self.

  30. Mark Foote
    Mark Foote April 25, 2013 at 6:03 pm |

    Thanks, Mumbles. I admit when I reread the piece now I wonder if the first two sentences are appropriate. I’m calling it a third draft, and if I come up with something a little less daunting for the opening I’m probably going to update it.

    The necessity of breath I think can be as subtle as an openness to the freedom of the location of mind and to the contribution of the parts to that freedom; sometimes I feel I can’t breathe without these senses included in my sphere of my awareness. Easier to find the phenomena of mind and body necessary to breath when you’re locked in a coffin like Houdini, or in a stretch like the lotus or “single-whip” for a period of some time (not hours like Houdini). That’s what my introductory sentences are about.

    Thanks for the reference to Trul-khor, Boubi; interesting.

    The piece also ends abruptly, I don’t know if anyone has endured my prose so long as to discover this yet. I wrote the last paragraph, and I knew I was done. May feel like a bridge out situation to the casual reader, without the cautionary signage.

  31. boubi
    boubi April 25, 2013 at 6:19 pm |

    “I don’t know if anyone has endured my prose so long as to discover this yet.”

    Never been able, sorry

Comments are closed.