SUICIDE GIRLS, SADDAM HUSSEIN and SPIRITUAL SPAM


Happy New Year everybody! ??????????????? to my friends in Japan where it’s already 2007! Pretty soon it’ll be 2007 here too and I’m stunned and amazed. I never thought we’d make it this far — we being the human race, of course. 20 years ago I’d have predicted the end of civilization way before this. I was certain all that would be left of what once was mankind would be smouldering radiation poisoned craters. But we made it. Yay for us! There are certainly a lot of very real, very urgent problems that we absolutely must deal with right this very second. But the fact that we are no longer worried the whole world is gonna go ka-boom at any minute makes me really optimistic. As big as the problems we are facing now are they’re really small compared to the immediate threat of WWIII breaking out before the next commercial break.

And speaking of terrible problems facing the human race, as some of you have figured out already, I am now writing a weekly column for the Suicide Girls website. If you want to take a look there are links over there to your right. I’ll try to keep the one that says “latest article” update each week. But I’m pretty incompetent. Even if I forget, the other link below that will get you to all the articles. So far only one person has really got his knickers in a twist over this, demanding that I explain myself. This brings up another point, if you write me, I might use your letter in an article here or on Suicide Girls. If your e-mail is long and I use it, I will edit it. If you don’t want me to do use your e-mail that way, say so and I will not. I won’t identify you by name in any case, so you can always deny it was you. I’m pleased it hasn’t become such an issue for most people. But maybe it will when word starts spreading (heh, heh, I said “spreading”). Anyway, they asked me to write for them, I accepted and I’m happy with that. I think it’s a great forum to talk about Buddhist philosophy. In fact, I could hardly have asked for a better place.

And speaking of better places, Saddam Hussein has almost surely not gone to one. Poor Saddam. Not that he was a nice guy or anything. But I see him in those old video clips patting kids on the head and smiling and I can’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy, even though I know he doesn’t really deserve it. Even having said that, I’m a little distressed to see the glee everyone is getting at watching his execution over and over and over on YouTube and Google Video. No matter what the reason, the violent death of a fellow human being shouldn’t be drooled over that way.

And speaking of drooling, I can’t make any transition to the next topic using a metaphor about drooling. But yesterday I deleted a spam comment from this blog. I do this pretty regularly with spammers and don’t think too much of it. I do not delete anything else, by the way. This particular piece of spam was a bit different, though, in that it came from a rabid follower of some self-styled Zen Master who wanted to let us know none of us would ever be as Enlightened as his teacher. I saw it, determined it was spam and zapped it pretty fast. But later on I thought I should have left it there to bask in its own idiocy. Unfortunately, once you delete a comment it’s gone forever so it’s too late for that. C’est la guerre I guess.

I did go over to the site in question and took a look. Pretty typical stuff if you ask me. Sounds like what happens when someone has the kind of initial big wow experiences you often get when starting off in Zen. There’s a real danger of going off the deep end and declaring yourself an Enlightened Being after one of these. It’s always sad to see that happen. But it does. A warning to us all.

Have a Happy 2007! Drive safely and all that.

81 Responses

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  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 9:33 am | |

    The Suicide Girl thing won’t bother people round here, I guess. Most people that come here, I’m assuming, are pretty open minded…and there’s some damn fine articles on that site!
    Happy New Year~

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 10:13 am | |

    Happy new year from Toulouse ;)

  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 10:27 am | |

    Happy New Year from Winnipeg!

  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 11:24 am | |

    Happy new year Brad!

  5. Esmerelda
    Esmerelda December 31, 2006 at 12:05 pm | |

    Happy New Year we are definitely not dead yet!

    Well, I never thought Clinton should be impeached, but if he came from a small country he could have been, perhaps should have been charged with war crimes for bombing civilians in Serbia. If Saddam or Osama or Milosovic were in charge of the US, Slick Willy could have been convicted. Certainly GWB has killed more Iraqs than Saddam Hussein at this point done way more damage to that pathetic country.

    ps You are right the early 80′s were really bad and scary. I have never been depressed. Lars Fredricksen from Rancid was talking about the fact that we, the Punks, won at least in New York and SF on his Radio show. Which is true it is pretty much better and safer to be a devient human now at least in parts of the USA. Never ever thought anyone would have a Punk Hardcore radio show. Mind you it is way worse to be a turtle or a tree in the rain forest now.

    pps. The Sucide girls are great, I like that there are pinups that aren’t plastic cheerleader types it will utimately improve the taste of the guys who are into them, aways a good thing.

  6. Drunken Monkey
    Drunken Monkey December 31, 2006 at 12:18 pm | |

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  7. Drunken Monkey
    Drunken Monkey December 31, 2006 at 12:18 pm | |

    Happy new year Brad & everyone!

    Who woulda thought, a regular columist on a major cultural magazine, Im happy for you! :)

  8. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf December 31, 2006 at 1:00 pm | |

    Happy new your Brad and fellow Hardcroe Zen Blog visitors.

    I think that you/Brad writing columns about Buddhism at the Suicide Girls website is fucking sweet.

  9. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 1:52 pm | |

    there seem to be no way to subscribe exclusively to brad’s feed :( and the private blog doesn’t have a feed at all.

    is that the same case, when you have an sg subscription

  10. Bwahaha
    Bwahaha December 31, 2006 at 1:58 pm | |

    Were you drunk or just in a hurry when you wrote this?

  11. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 4:12 pm | |

    That spam post that you deleted was about Linda Clair. A self-claimed Zen master in Australia.

    Happy New Year Brad!

  12. Jinzang
    Jinzang December 31, 2006 at 4:36 pm | |

    I don’t know if Linda Clair is enlightened. But her web design person certainly knows their job. That’s one thing I’ll give to these self appointed spiritual teachers. They do a good job on their web design.

    Oh, and Happy New Year to everyone. I hope this sorry old world makes one more trip around the sun without us blowing ourselves up.

  13. Jinzang
    Jinzang December 31, 2006 at 5:58 pm | |

    One small nit to pick after reading your column in Suicide Girls. Buddha never said “life is suffering.” You can read what he said in his first sermon here. If you think about it, if life were suffering, the only way to avoid suffering would be to kill yourself. What Buddha said is that craving is the cause of suffering and we can avoid suffering by ending it.

  14. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 6:51 pm | |

    “But the fact that we are no longer worried the whole world is gonna go ka-boom at any minute makes me really optimistic.”

    Speak for yourself. Do you know something we don’t?

  15. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 7:43 pm | |

    I’m not at all sure how Linda Clair came to be discussed on this blog. I am her student, and i know all her other students. I find it highly unlikely that any of them would have claimed that she is more enlightened than anyone else. She is not a Zen Master. Part of her training was in Zen, but she is outside any tradition. She is most definitely enlightened. The best way to discover if a teacher is genuinely enlightened is to go and see them.

  16. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 7:48 pm | |

    “Pretty typical stuff if you ask me. Sounds like what happens when someone has the kind of initial big wow experiences you often get when starting off in Zen. There’s a real danger of going off the deep end and declaring yourself an Enlightened Being after one of these. It’s always sad to see that happen. But it does. A warning to us all.”

    Somebody makes the claim that they ARE Enlightened, and you say something like that. What do you base your assumption on Brad? How do YOU know that Linda Clair is NOT Enlightened?

    From reading her site it appears she has the support of two Zen Masters from Japan and she has recieved her Buddhist name (not one but two!).

  17. Anonymous
    Anonymous December 31, 2006 at 7:53 pm | |

    “She is most definitely enlightened.”

    There you have it, proof from one of her actual students.

    She IS enlightened, so says her STUDENT.

    Now who else would know whether a teacher is enlightened or not, but a STUDENT?

  18. 6billionghosts
    6billionghosts December 31, 2006 at 9:16 pm | |

    i am jerking off to your articles heartily this new year!!

  19. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 2:28 am | |

    Linda Clair is one of those side- show “Mind Body and Spirit” types, writes articles in free “spiritual” newspapers and makes money from promising to bring enlightenment to others.

    Outside any tradition eh, but relies upon her SHORT experiences in Japan to sell her stuff.

    Buyer beware is all I can say. There are frauds everywhere.

    Brad, perhaps an article on how to tell the frauds apart would be good?

  20. Boris
    Boris January 1, 2007 at 3:29 am | |

    Hello ‘anonymous’. On what basis are you making these defamatory remarks about Linda?

  21. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 6:14 am | |

    Anonymous said, “From reading her site it appears she has the support of two Zen Masters from Japan and she has recieved her Buddhist name (not one but two!).”

    From the “Teacher” page on Linda Clair’s site:

    “In 2004 she travelled to Japan and spent six weeks at a Zen monastery with Hogen-san’s Master, Harada Tangen Roshi, known as Roshi Sama. Her time with him was intense. She sensed she was close to the culmination of her journey. She returned to Australia in a deeply detached, peaceful state. Roshi Sama gave her the name Dai’an Jishin, which translates as ‘deep peace, compassionate heart/mind’.”

    As someone who has practiced at Bukkokuji with Tangen Roshi (the teacher who gave Linda Clair her Buddhist name), all it probably means is that she took jukai (recieving the precepts) with him, and is not any indicator of spiritual attainment or support of her teaching activities. Tangen Roshi gave jukai to anyone who asked. I attended a jukai ceremony there in which he gave jukai to the 2 or 3 year old son of one of his western disciples. During jukai, you are given two names, a first and last so to speak.
    I am sure that her six weeks at Bukkokuji were “intense,” because Bukkokuji is an intense place and Tangen Roshi is an intense teacher.
    I think she’s just name dropping to give herself more credibility in the Zen scene.

  22. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 9:52 am | |

    “I only read Playboy
    [Suicide Girls, Juggs, etc.]
    for the in-depth interviews.” ;)

  23. Jinzang
    Jinzang January 1, 2007 at 1:19 pm | |

    Every now and then someone listening to one of my teacher’s talks gets up and asks a question based on what they heard from some silly New Age teacher. They finish up by asking, is that the same as what you’re talking about? I expect him to lower the KABOOM, but he never does. What he says instead is “I don’t know” or “I can’t tell.” So I try to follow his example and not criticize other spiritual teachers, no matter how they sound to me.

    I expect that except for a few pathological cases, every teacher has something to say of benefit to someone. You don’t need to be enlightened to teach meditation or the importance of love and compassion and if people took these seriously and put them into practice they’d be much better off.

    Anyway, your teacher’s enlightenment helps you, how? Plenty of people hunt out the teacher with the greatest reputation for enlightenment, then ignore everything their teacher has to say.

  24. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 2:52 pm | |

    “I think she’s just name dropping to give herself more credibility in the Zen scene.”

    But if she is surely enlightened she wouldn’t need to do that now would she.

    “………is not any indicator of spiritual attainment or support of her teaching activities.”

    She seems to think it is.

  25. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 3:04 pm | |

    There is a box here called ‘Buddhism’. Everything inside the box is worthy of serious discussion. Anything outside the box must be dismissed or denigrated in some way. This makes those in the box feel more secure. I hope this helps

  26. MikeDoe
    MikeDoe January 1, 2007 at 3:07 pm | |

    anon:
    Many in Buddhist/Zen/Chaan liek to quote lineage as evidence that they have achieved what they claim.

    This sounds good in theory but in practice is flawed since is no more than taking on trust the approval of another.

    There is a catch 22 situation that Gudo Nishijima also acknowledges.

    In order to find a true teacher you have to trust your own judgement and lineage (in particular dharma transmission) is not reliable.

    The issue is how to recognise a true teacher if you do not know what it is that you are looking for.

    That is what makes it a catch-22 situation.

    There are no hard and fast rules on this but there are some guideliness.

    I cannot comment on this particular person because I have not met her and have not read anything about her.

    In general I might suggest some general ideas that might help.

    1. What do your instincts tell you about the teacher. Do they feeel in some way ‘different’ to you?

    2. Do they charge [large] fees?

    3. Do they claim ‘secret’ or ‘special’ or ‘unique’ knowledge?

    4. Are they open and honest?

    5. Are they eager for students?

    6. Do you want to be like them?

    This is not a definitive list it is just to give you some ideas.

    In practice you need to rely on instincts but your instincts are not necessarily reliable.

    Unfortunately, it seems to be a fact that the deeper and more ‘correct’ your own meditation practice is then the easier it is to find a good teacher. Still a catch 22….

    P.S. Only fakes are ‘perfect’.

  27. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 10:38 pm | |

    “There is a box here called ‘Buddhism’. Everything inside the box is worthy of serious discussion. Anything outside the box must be dismissed or denigrated in some way. This makes those in the box feel more secure. I hope this helps”

    All well and good.

    It still looks as though Mrs Clair is using her very limited Japanese experience and her jukai to push her “enlightenment” and sell her wares though.

  28. Galaxy*9
    Galaxy*9 January 1, 2007 at 10:47 pm | |

    Happy New Year from Denver CO USA baby!
    Wow, ive blocked out so much of what I refuse to put my energy into i didnt realize some people were still putting their energy into the War, death and destruction that plagued the old way of humanity.
    Fortunately, I couldnt agree with you more that the New and Shiny fantastic way of living is comin ’round the bend. We are not threatened and we can evolve freely.
    And Peacefully. And Willfully and Soulfully.
    Ah well, I have high hopes and dreams.
    Thank you for SPREADING those amazing words.
    Peace to all.

  29. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 1, 2007 at 10:58 pm | |

    If you read the text on Linda’s website, you will see that her experience in Japan is a very small part of her journey. She had an awakening in 1997. She continued to practice Vipassana for another seven years before the trip to Japan. She did not become enlightened in Japan, but in Australia at a sesshin with Zen Master Hogen Yamahata.
    I say this just in case anyone is interested in looking at a broader perspective.

  30. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 2, 2007 at 12:19 am | |

    “She did not become enlightened in Japan, but in Australia at a sesshin with Zen Master Hogen Yamahata.”

    So then Hogen Yamahata Roshi has sanctioned her “enlightenment” then? Then she is recognised as a teacher by Hogen Roshi?

    My red flags are fluttering in the breeze – it all sounds hoky to me.

  31. Prof Wes
    Prof Wes January 2, 2007 at 5:49 am | |

    I read SG for the articles. At least now I do. Until Brad posted the link, I had no idea SG *had* articles!

    Enlightening to say the least :)

    Brad once wrote “trust no one” (or some variation of that), but I’m not sure if I trust that advice. Til then, I’ll just keep sitting, reading, and talking.

  32. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 2, 2007 at 11:05 am | |

    “the fact that we are no longer worried the whole world is gonna go ka-boom at any minute makes me really optimistic.”

    Come on Brad, cheer up!

    Always look on the bright side of life… (insert whistle here)

    I mean – what have you got to lose?
    You know, you come from nothing – you’re going back to nothing.
    What have you lost? Nothing!

    Lifted from ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE, words and music by Eric Idle

  33. guyropes
    guyropes January 2, 2007 at 11:40 am | |

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  34. guyropes
    guyropes January 2, 2007 at 11:43 am | |

    Brad, and all,
    Just been reading the Suicide Girls’ articles, but had no idea how to post a response, so I’m doing it here..
    You mentioned ‘the law of the Universe’, and have done so on a number of other occasions. But I have no idea what you are referring to here. Can you shed a little light on what you mean? Isn’t something like ‘the law of the Universe’ just another thought in your head, and therefore unworthy of mentioning/ thinking about?
    I’d really appreciate your comments. This is a sticking point for me..
    D

  35. V for Vendetta
    V for Vendetta January 2, 2007 at 12:40 pm | |

    “Brad once wrote “trust no one” (or some variation of that)”

    Brad said to trust noone including him. Dylan said if you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself. That just leaves us.

  36. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 2, 2007 at 1:39 pm | |

    i totally support the advice given earlier on this blog by Mikedoe. The best attitude to take is somewhere between, on one extreme, gullibility, and on the other extreme, some of the tight-assed, fundamentalist views expressed on this blog regarding Linda Clair.
    Healthy skepicism is great; there should be more of it. But skepticism can easily shut you down if you’re not careful.
    My understanding is that a Zen Master would never sanction a non-Buddhist as a teacher.
    But enlightenment does not have rules.

  37. Buddha
    Buddha January 2, 2007 at 2:34 pm | |

    Supporting the Objectification of women, how zen of you.

  38. Jinzang
    Jinzang January 2, 2007 at 5:38 pm | |

    My understanding is that a Zen Master would never sanction a non-Buddhist as a teacher.

    People who start in Zen sometimes set themselves up as independent teachers. Toni Packer and Adyashanti are the first names that come to my mind.

  39. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 2, 2007 at 6:28 pm | |

    “People who start in Zen sometimes set themselves up as independent teachers. Toni Packer and Adyashanti are the first names that come to my mind.”

    A great many Tokugawa Zen priests were self-enlightened and self-certified. Daigu, Tosui, Shosan, Ungo, and Isshi were all such Zen priests, having been fed up with the “paper zen” of the times.

    It was possible (dare I say it may still be?) during the Meiji era to buy certification as a Zen priest.

    “Paper Zen” is still rife today with many placing importance on who certified who and such nonsense.

    In the words of Dokuan Genko (1630-1698) “The only genuine transmission is the individual’s independent experience of Zen enlightenment, an intuitive experience that needs no external confirmation. what is called enlightenment is not dependent on another’s enlightenment. It can only be realised for one’s self, by one’s self.”

    So who is ANYBODY to say whether or not another person has attained enlightenment or not?

  40. Waylon
    Waylon January 2, 2007 at 8:05 pm | |

    That Adyashanti character creeps the hell outta me. I guess he teaches classes localy outta the Open Exchange ….you know the continuing education mag thing….There might be someone credible teaching something through there, I’ve never seen anyone though.

  41. Jules
    Jules January 2, 2007 at 10:29 pm | |

    anonymous said:
    If you read the text on Linda’s website, you will see that her experience in Japan is a very small part of her journey. She had an awakening in 1997.

    I had one in 1995, and I’m still a big asshole, and nobody would ever mistake me for a buddhist teacher.

    From Linda Clair’s bio on her web site:
    She later described the experience as ‘deeper than bliss’. There was a marked change in her after the awakening, which was really a very strong glimpse of enlightenment. She knew now what was possible, and she also knew that she would not be satisfied until that state became permanent.

    Heroin users also see marked changes, neglecting their lives in pursuit of a “deeper than bliss” state. Don’t neglect your life in pursuit of either of those dragons. I hope she’s not encouraging other people to “not be satisfied until that state becomes permanent.” Awful.

    anonymous again:
    So who is ANYBODY to say whether or not another person has attained enlightenment or not?

    Better questions: Why does it matter whether any given person has attained “enlightenment” (whatever that means)? Are they joyful and happy with their lives? Are they good teachers, experienced and skilled in helping people understand the practice, each other, themselves, and their problems?

    I don’t know whether Linda Clair would fit that description. I’m a little skeptical that she’s a good teacher after reading some of her web site. Even if she really is living the Dharma, that doesn’t necessarily make her a good teacher.

  42. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 2, 2007 at 11:09 pm | |

    “I don’t know whether Linda Clair would fit that description. I’m a little skeptical that she’s a good teacher after reading some of her web site. Even if she really is living the Dharma, that doesn’t necessarily make her a good teacher.”

    Likewise, after reading through her website I was left with the impression that she is a shonk, someone out to make a buck from people.

    Just the impression that I got from reading her stuff, and from her apparent lack of wisdom. The way she is presented is like one of those new-age magic crystal types.

    Like those armchair martial artists who take pictures with great teachers, and put together their own hodge-podge school from attending a few seminars – she seems to be in the same vein. I doubt anything of value comes from attending her classes. Just stroking her ego.

  43. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 12:52 am | |

    “Why does it matter whether any given person has attained “enlightenment” (whatever that means)?”

    That is her whole sales pitch. That’s what puts her above the crowd to attract students stupid enough to believe her.

  44. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 6:21 am | |

    Face it, enlightenment = $$$$$$

  45. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 6:55 am | |

    For a guy who railed against the use of intoxicants in his last book this is an interesting twist.

  46. zenmite
    zenmite January 3, 2007 at 10:07 am | |

    “People who start in Zen sometimes set themselves up as independent teachers. Toni Packer and Adyashanti are the first names that come to my mind”

    While Toni Packer did leave traditional Zen and form her own group, she didn’t set herself up in the sense of being a ‘self-proclaimed’ teacher. She was given permission to teach by Roshi Kapleau and had already taken on many students while still at the RZC. Roshi was planning to turn the principle teaching duties of the Rochester Zen center over to her when she realized she did not want to carry on within the traditional Zen Buddhist religious tradition. When she left, many of her students chose to leave with her (including myself) and begin what is now called the Springwater Center.

    Someone else also wrote that a zen master’s sanction of enlightenment (kensho) is identical to being given permission to teach. This isn’t true of any of the rinzai or sanbo kyodan sects that I’m aware of. A student must go far beyond the initial kensho or passing of the first koan and this usually requires many more years, if not decades, of training under the teacher.

  47. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 11:03 am | |

    Someone else also wrote that a zen master’s sanction of enlightenment (kensho) is identical to being given permission to teach. This isn’t true of any of the rinzai or sanbo kyodan sects that I’m aware of. A student must go far beyond the initial kensho or passing of the first koan and this usually requires many more years, if not decades, of training under the teacher.

    This is my experience also. Some times it’s said that kensho means that person can start serious practice with the teacher. It’s the first step, nothing else. Shodo Harada Roshi wrote that when he had his first kensho, he went to his room and made little dance and returned to normal monestary duty. Then he said that it took 10 years diligent practice with his teacher to get rid of the stink of the kensho.

  48. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 11:07 am | |

    Zen masters and whores have traditionally had good mutual understanding. Brad is extending that to exhibitionist sluts. Congratulations.

  49. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 1:13 pm | |

    the criticism of a teacher by a teacher is because teaching includes criticizing one-sided views

    if a teacher presents enlightenment as something that is definitely real and useful, then a Buddhist teacher might criticize that as one-sided and misleading

    when it comes to “objectification of women” or “exhibitionist sluts”, I don’t know if the women posting their pictures are victims or criminals – but my common sense says they are basically having fun posting those pictures and other women and men are having fun looking at them – i guess normally people need some pastime in life, be it football, rock n roll or erotica

    i guess porn becomes dangerous only when it inspires people to do something mad but mostly it is the other way around – usually they can releast the sexual tension thanks to pictures / and the crazier a person is, the crazier, sicker has to be the porn they watch to make them cool down, thank God that can save a lot of innocent people from being attacked or raped

    Long live Suicide Girls, an innocent way to deal with sex

  50. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 3, 2007 at 3:30 pm | |


    when it comes to “objectification of women” or “exhibitionist sluts”, I don’t know if the women posting their pictures are victims or criminals – but my common sense says they are basically having fun posting those pictures and other women and men are having fun looking at them – i guess normally people need some pastime in life, be it football, rock n roll or erotica

    see Suicide girls video

    Slut was not meant as insult. It is quite common sexual fantasy for women (and many men) to be slut, slave or other vice cheap and objectified by others. There is noting criminal in this. IT SHOULD NOT BE CONFUSED WITH REAL ABUSE. It is just human nature. Some people watch movies with violence, some people like non-equal sex fantasies for example. Human nature is extremely complex thing. I had girlfriend that wanted to be used and lightly abused. I have always been non violent and gentle person, but I was turned on by this. I also liked to watch ultra violent Japanese movies. When I become Buddhist, I saw that I can choose to ignore my natural inclinations for abusive plays and violence fantasies. Even if they don’t hurt others they fill my mind with the imaginary pleasure of hurting and abusing others. This fun was like anti metta bahavana practise.

    Always remember:

    Whatever a Person Thinks and Ponders on, That is the Inclination of Their Mind! – The Buddha – MN 19-[11] Two Kinds of Thought Dvedhavitakka Sutta

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