I’m in Peet’s Coffee Shop on the Sunset Strip as I write this. Just a couple minutes ago a lame-ass pseudo punk rock dickhead with a big Mohawk and a high priced leather jacket walked in. How do I know he was a dickhead? Here’s how.
He walks into the place, makes a beeline for the toilet, does his business and then leaves. Now the fact that he did not “pay the rent” by purchasing a drink already makes him a candidate for dickhead status. But maybe he’s destitute or in a big hurry, both of which I doubt, but maybe.
Here’s what makes him a dickhead for sure. I went into the toilet just after he departed and discovered he left about a cup of his piss all over the seat.
Just how much effort does it take to lift up a toilet seat? I suppose he’s all punk rock and stuff thinking, y’know, like “fuck these straight ass conventions of lifting the seat, I do what I want!” Or whatever. Or maybe he doesn’t even consider such things at all.
If you want to understand Buddhism, which I’m sure this dickhead never will, the first thing you need to understand is that, if you’re a dude, you must always lift the seat before you take a piss. You must pay your way into the club, not sneak in through then back. You are not allowed to write graffiti anywhere except in places where you are specifically encouraged to do so.
Do you get what I’m saying? Because if you’re a dickhead you never will. If you’re a dickhead you need a big long list of do’s and don’t’s and you need a guy with a big long stick standing behind you at all times to whack you over the head whenever you do one of the don’t’s or don’t do one of the do’s. You will never be a Buddhist with that attitude. And if you bring it to one of my sittings I will send you away.
Buddhist morality is lifting the seat. It’s vacuuming the carpet once a week. It’s dropping your candy wrapper in a trashcan and not on the sidewalk. These are all moral choices.
Do what is right and don’t do what is wrong. And don’t pretend you don’t know the difference because you do.