Iím in Peetís Coffee Shop on the Sunset Strip as I write this. Just a couple minutes ago a lame-ass pseudo punk rock dickhead with a big Mohawk and a high priced leather jacket walked in. How do I know he was a dickhead? Hereís how.
He walks into the place, makes a beeline for the toilet, does his business and then leaves. Now the fact that he did not ďpay the rentĒ by purchasing a drink already makes him a candidate for dickhead status. But maybe heís destitute or in a big hurry, both of which I doubt, but maybe.
Hereís what makes him a dickhead for sure. I went into the toilet just after he departed and discovered he left about a cup of his piss all over the seat.
Just how much effort does it take to lift up a toilet seat? I suppose heís all punk rock and stuff thinking, yíknow, like ďfuck these straight ass conventions of lifting the seat, I do what I want!Ē Or whatever. Or maybe he doesnít even consider such things at all.
If you want to understand Buddhism, which Iím sure this dickhead never will, the first thing you need to understand is that, if youíre a dude, you must always lift the seat before you take a piss. You must pay your way into the club, not sneak in through then back. You are not allowed to write graffiti anywhere except in places where you are specifically encouraged to do so.
Do you get what Iím saying? Because if youíre a dickhead you never will. If youíre a dickhead you need a big long list of doís and donítís and you need a guy with a big long stick standing behind you at all times to whack you over the head whenever you do one of the donítís or donít do one of the doís. You will never be a Buddhist with that attitude. And if you bring it to one of my sittings I will send you away.
Buddhist morality is lifting the seat. Itís vacuuming the carpet once a week. Itís dropping your candy wrapper in a trashcan and not on the sidewalk. These are all moral choices.
Do what is right and donít do what is wrong. And donít pretend you donít know the difference because you do.